I’ve spent over 40 years of my adult life in some phase of food addiction. It used to be so tied in with my low self esteem and poor self image that it could only allow me to look some version of me being perfect to even be OK. When that was true, all I wanted to do was think I looked OK and then everything would be fine. And since I never could really look OK, the distraction of the addiction hung on.
Now I have quite good self esteem and self image. My self questioning and self judgment about how I look or what I think and do is very rare. That is not to say I think everything I do is perfect. It is to say that everything I do is just OK with me. I trust that I have a lot to offer and I trust that I will not always do what is popular or what works. So what? Before, all I needed to do was be perfect. Now all I need to do is be myself.
I have just recently lost another chunk of weight. Maybe it’s the last time I’ll need to do that. I got rid of all clothes that I can trick myself into thinking I haven’t gain with; the slightly bigger ones that would then allow weight gain to surprise me. That was an old subconscious trick of mine.
Now all my clothes fit; my scale is correct and now I have to self coach. I have to self talk. I have to provide the support for myself that I provide my clients; the support that ultimately they will have to offer themselves. I have to find the part of me that loves myself enough to get over it – whatever it might be in the moment.
I’m going to have to be like the man in Beautiful Mind who just decided that he would live with the delusions that his mental illness gave him and not medicate himself with the less-than-satisfactory drugs he was prescribed. I have to accept that sometimes this food addiction will walk along with me. I just need to acknowledge it, not resist it, and act in my best interests – not its.
You can find additional info at the following links:
Click Here for more informationClick Here for more information
ไม่มีความคิดเห็น:
แสดงความคิดเห็น